So in the middle of the party yours truly got into thinking “Does it matter who wears pants in the house?” or Even is it required for someone to actually wear them , pants ?

Can’t we have an even status in a household ? We call ourselves educated and expect today’s women to share the same responsibilities as that of a man. We expect women to work , be good wives and pay attention to all details. Cook, take care of the house and men can easily just sit and veg out , when it comes to decision making , it somehow becomes  a mans territory?  Sorry  but I do not approve of it.

I like the fact that I have an equal importance in the house and my opinion matters , it holds  a stand . My man does not dominate me. When it comes to being a wife , I am ready to make all the sacrifices in the world , but give me my share of independence , space and the right to make decision.

I also agree to the fact that some people are dominant by nature and some are not, I cannot imagine myself to be a pushover , I am seriously glad that the husband understands this.

Recently I saw an interview with Sheryl Sandberg , where she was asked how does her husband feel as  she has a flourishing and a succesful career compared to her husband. She nailed the answer in my opinion ,

“Does anybody  ever ask a wife how is she feeling when a husband is doing well in his career ?”

She is  “Expected” to be proud of him, ain’t she?

Sorry to say but there lies your difference. The moment when we actually treat a husband and wife to be equals the entire equation becomes simple. It is a bit hard when it comes to change a society which has been male dominant for ages , but I really wait for the day when there would be no need to celebrate  an “International Women’s Day “

The hell with sugar,
We’re all about spice.
Spunk is the new mantra,
Enough of being nice!
We’re done with words,
Its now fun with action…
The brain’s our forte.
Waiting is passe
We make our own way
We are after all The women of today!

Anyhow the “dukh ke badal” have finally left me, if you ask me there was no particular reason I was sad, and there is not one particular reason I am happy. It is just me!!

One fine day when I was all drowned in self pity and why me phase..
I pinged the Husband..

Me:  I am sad , hope is all I have..
and pat came the reply
Husband: YOU are all I have ..

He is sweet like that!!!

My life is filled with such small moments , he does not say I love you enough , but the small little things he does for me makes me fall in love with him a thousand time over

We have finally shed some extra pounds. Yes Sir!! 5 more pounds to go and we will be back to being our usual self again. Finally the tops which have been folded and stashed in the closet can come out. The result is not very obvious but I still can feel it , just a few more extra efforts.

Me and some of my old college girl friends have decided to do a all girls trip, it is going to be three of us . We are yet planning it ,but whenever I think of it I smile . Before we go ahead and have kids and get more busy  with our so called lives and the better halves we all wanted to do this !! It is going to be fun and may I say  a lot of useless philosophical life talks will be exchanged in the run.

and I have nothing else to write… I will just leave with a song that I am listening !!

Does this happen to everyone? Does every relation comes with an expiration date? Why do people say relations last for ever. If they do, why not mine?

—————————————————————————————————–

Time gets you close and then it also drives you apart. All you are left with is memories from the past.

You meet different people in life , some stay while the seasons last while a very few stay forever. Each person that walks in and out of your life has a part to play and experiences to share. There are few who last forever and stand the test of time , but it seems even they have their momentary lapses.

Personal ego gets stronger as you get older and you try to judge everybody. Everybody becomes headstrong and less adaptable. You are no more kids to let go and you hold on to stuff , hold on to little grudges.

Grudges that last forever…

People whither away in front of of your eyes, they fade and go away like memories they disappear… Sometimes near …sometimes far..

——————————————————————————————————–

Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
Oh take me back to the start
I was just guessing at numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart
Questions of science, science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start
Running in circles, chasing tails
Coming back as we are

She realized when you fail to accept that things are wrong you are lost in never-land. She had to face reality someday, instead pretending to show Everything is fine!!!  She used to lie to herself and around.  Between  two extremes she was either sulking or pretending to be happy.

It is okay to accept things the way they are , trying to hide it as a bad wound never helps. She did understand that , but at the cost of time.

For a long time before she had dreams , dreams wowed of blissful wishes and silky thoughts. For a long time she made it look perfect, hiding the scars of reality ,but today she has learnt to vent it out, to cry out loud and let go and make peace with life ; Life the way it is , the way it was.

It made her feel at peace, not  that the things changed but a heavy weight was lifted and she felt at ease , a bit lighter in her heart which was still beating for a reason. Not everything was lost !!

Being in a state of denial did not help nor did pretense. Today at least she has hope and faith. That she should not lose. Somewhere in never-land everything would be just fine.

Amen!

Itneee shakti humne dena data
Man ka vishwaas kmjor ho na
Hum chalen nek raste pe humse
bhool ke bhi koi bhool ho na.

I saw a girl fooling around with a man who could be old enough to be qualified to be her father. He and his drunk friends were deciding who is going to go out with her. We stayed in the hotel for sometime and then left . We were standing for the cab to arrive and I saw the same girl taking off with an old man. This ripped off my heart.

I do not know why all these girls enter into this profession. Is it by choice or the condition\situation I am not sure, but sure as hell I am that once you get drained into it , there is no easy way out. All the girls who are working in this business have gotten in because of situation or easy money , but no amount of money would get them mental peace.

Also Vegas is a place where sex sells. Be it a bottle of water , or be it a simple magnet everything that has a naked girl on it sells itself .  Sex sells. I get that, but to what level I did not even imagine until I went to Vegas.  Every nook and corner is filled with pimps selling cards. These cards have erotic photos on it with a number and a tagline saying “Whatever you want”!!!

All I want to ask is  like what? How desperate can one get? and exactly what are those weak moments when one would want give in. I know pornography is one of the biggest industry, it is curiosity that drives youngsters to it, but I fail to understand why are adults driven? Do we not have any sense of control on our feelings?

I have been hesitating to write this on my blog , but I truly feel sex is overrated, it is a part of life and this is not the only thing driving your relation. People measuring the success of their relation based on the number of times that they do it  is bizarre.  There are other aspects to any relation and people forget to consider them  , but then that is a topic for another day.

There are two traits in humans that Vegas exploits weakness for sex and the disillusion to win a butt load of cash and sorry I forgot to mention the biggest collection of brands.  Shopping, Sex , Drinking , Drugs and Gambling go Vegas!!!

May be there are people who enjoy it, but I did not. All I could think of was weak people around me and how fake was everything around. The architecture is fabulous and everything is glamorous , but as I said it does not feel real.

Sab moh maya hai meri jaan…

Am I not happy , she thought
For why can’t smile the way she used to
Was it the time that is running
Or was is it just her feeling it..

Herself that she used to be
Just going away with time
This new self she did not get
Scared that she was, to face the truth

With every passing day
She was loosing it, the charm , the faith
It was due time now , to stop
To stop living in the past!!

For all was not lost
hope was still waiting
For the new dawn
A new sunrise, a new morning

She woke up to a bright day
With a heavy heart ,
but having faith in all good
Smiling that perfect smile.

Thinking , the best is yet to come!!!

The turmoil is reducing now, and at-least I am back to being my normal self.
Tough times teach you a lot of things, but the most important thing that you learn is which people actually matter in your life.

I realized what is the husband to me!! Honey, thanks for being the rock of my life.

Love always… looking forward for a lifetime together.

and I so know the best is yet to come

A Translation of one of the finest track of Rabbi , apt for what I feel  !!!

Is it just a struggle with your own self , or is it too simple and we complicate it ?
I do not have answers , I am in doubt.

Just  some thoughts that I need to read today!!

1. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.

2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.

3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.

4. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and
parents will. Stay in touch.

5. Pay off your credit cards every month.

6. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

7. Cry with someone. It’s more healing than crying alone.

8. It’s OK to get angry with God. He can take it.

9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck..

10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.

11. Make peace with your past so it won’t screw up the present.

12. It’s OK to let your children see you cry.

13. Don’t compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.

15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don’t worry; God never blinks.

16.. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.

17. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

18. Whatever doesn’t kill you really does make you stronger.

19. It’s never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.

20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don’t take no for an answer.

21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don’t
save it for a special occasion. Today is special.

22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.

23. Be eccentric now. Don’t wait for old age to wear purple.

24. The most important sex organ is the brain.

25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.

26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words ‘In five years, will
this matter?’

27. Always choose life.

28. Forgive everyone everything.

29. What other people think of you is none of your business.

30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.

31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

32. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.

33. Believe in miracles.

34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn’t do.

35. Don’t audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.

36. Growing old beats the alternative — dying young.

37. Your children get only one childhood.

38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.

39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.

40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d
grab ours back.

41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

42.. The best is yet to come…

43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

44. Yield.

45. Life isn’t tied with a bow, but it’s still a gift.”

Either its anger that is surrounding me , or I am frustrated about everything that is happening.

Something is not right, and I do not know for  a fact as to what it is.

Is it the sudden obsession that I am having about my weight  and the increased waist line, or is it just the winter feeling sinking in.

I am not a very pleasant person when I am angry.. I hate myself and every single thing around…

arghhhh just pissed…..

It is that profound silence in your mind or  mayhem. Chaos. Sadness slowly sinks in like the sunset and you are left with a numbing feeling.

When you talk to yourself and think about a zillion things and what you need is that me time.  When you search for peace around and shut the doors to the outside world.

All you want to do is sit and spend some quality time with yourself, it’s not about missing somethings nor about being un-happy. You are just Sad, sad for no reason.

Wandering around in that loneliness is a bliss and to top it off we could keep on listening

” Yeh mera deewana pan hai..”

Sometimes it takes a wrong to set things right and today just for sometime can I be alone and romance the gloominess around?