It has been so long I wrote! I think the voices in my head have reduced now. My thoughts are much clear and I can feel the calmness in self. I hope this is a good thing! However, when I think about this space, when I go back and read my posts I can see how I have evolved, changed and grown up. It seems like a different life when I read a few posts from the past – and say to myself “What was I thinking?” I was such an easy going breezy person 🙂
I do not regret one thing in my life at the moment. Each decision I took played an important role in shaping me and my life. I might have not enjoyed when I was going through things, but when I reflect on them, all I can say is I have learnt and come a long way.
Today I want to just retrospect and enjoy a few good things in my life
- My Health – I started a journey of being healthy and building my strength last year. I am not there yet, but I can see a difference in my strength, my body posture has improved and I have spring in my feet again! I have realized it is not so much about weight but more about being healthy and being fit. This personal training is helping and I am looking forward to a better, fitter and a slimmer me.
- Some mornings – M is all grown up now, so mornings are mostly business, but I really enjoy the cute talks that R does especially in the mornings. Like today, I was super lazy last night to change her diaper and let her sleep in (lazy mom), she had a diaper leak early in the AM and everything was wet. This girl told me “mamma ola jhala” I removed her diaper and then we slept again for 15 minutes. I told her R let us get up and she was like “mamma no school, jhopu de”. I think my heart melted at that moment. There was this gush of warmth that filled my heart and what I felt was pure love. Bliss.
- Professional Achievement – I changed my career path some 3 years ago and started afresh. It was a hard journey and there were a LOT of moments where I thought I made a bad choice. Right from the company that I joined, to the team that I was managing to the people I was working with, everything had different dynamics and the pace was super high. I was stressed. However, I worked my ass off! I made a place for myself and got promoted not once but twice in the past 3 years. Today, when I walk up and down the stair, I can see smiling faces, I see respect around me and I see that I built and earned trust. It was not easy, but I managed it. After a long time in my life I felt successful. I felt I deserved the success, and I celebrated the confidence that I gained.
I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o’er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.
Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.
The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I gazed—and gazed—but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:
For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.