I just can’t take pain. Whenever I am sick, I just lose it. I can’t handle any sort of physical pain. I am not feeling well since last two days and I have spent most of my time sleeping. Last night was bad. I had high fever and my body just gave up. There was something more to this, I was scared, scared for the first time here. I was scared because we were alone here , in this entirely new country.

I was feeling very insecure, I had him by my side , but I had this lonely feeling.

What if something bad happens? Where do I go? What do I do? May be I was thinking too much. But isn’t it true to a certain extent? This is not our country where something happens and you can directly go and visit your doctor. The series of questions and the entire procedure for appointments is a big mess. There is so much of fuss even for a simple medical advice to be taken. Anyways the point is it was 3.30 am and I was not well. If it was India I would have been assured not only for the medical treatment and I know my people are just a phone call away.  It’s not just onto him that I have to rely on.

May be its a sense of belonging thing.

When I go for a walk and somebody is walking past me I am scared , I look back to see who it is. This never happened in India, I walked a lonely road even at  midnight. Somehow I always knew I was secured. Here I am scared.

I have no clue what this post had turned out , but one thing that I know is I don’t feel it right here. I just want to go back and be in my own land where I can relate to everyone around and just feel at home.

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