This phase right now is beautiful. My baby is small enough to still fit in my lap, sleep in my arms. She cries every time I leave her and sometime I feel a little relieved to let her be!
Even now I don’t believe that I am a mom , a mom to a beautiful 16 months old girl. Has it really been 16 months or was I dreaming, perhaps.
Time has flown by so quickly, I know it would sound cliched but I really do not remember the long nights, I hardly remember my baby being a new born. The memories are washed out, all I have are a few videos and photos to feel those days were a reality at some point of time.
I have decided today to feel every day, to feel every hour and every minute of my life. Somehow, I feel that life is just going by without me realizing it. Things are happening and I am a bystander. I need to take things in my control . I need to be present in the present- if that makes sense to anyone.
I am done with sulking, thinking , planning. I read this post Lonely Mom, I could connect to most part of it. I do feel jealous sometimes. I feel lonely. I miss old days. Isn’t it just natural for humans to whine for the days that have gone by? I miss having friends and hanging out. I do.
I miss you saint and sweets! Why couldn’t you be here ? With me , in these days when I need you the most? I really value the friendship that we have. You girls rock my world 🙂
So, today just for once I have decided to let it go. Feel every minute. Be calm and not plan or think. To living in the moment , or whatever that crap is 🙂
Miss you my lil mimsha.. mumma will be back home soon ….