Was I ever happy before, she thought. Do I have a proof of being happy? I guess the thousands of smiling photos speaking to the fact were not enough.

Sometimes the mind tricks you, doesn’t it? Makes you believe things that are not true and sends you on a trip.

May be she replaced fun with happiness, who doesn’t these days? Isn’t it a common mistake to seek what is easy? Fun is the easy part, being happy is not! Because happiness cannot be sought outside, it can be felt internally.

There are small little things that can make you happy.

  1. Making bed first thing in the morning
  2. Kids playing in backyard
  3. Making chai and it turning good
  4. A clean house , okay thats big 😉 – A clean kitchen
  5. Being able to talk to the husband about stupid things.
  6. Working out

I have thought hard about this, what makes me happy at the end of the day? Actually doing things that are important to me makes me happy. The problem some days those things change, because I prioritize the wrong things.

Small changes they say – let me start small. Let me gather the broken pieces of the self I want to build and fight the battles which are so hard to win. When one gets complacent and used to of being mediocre, of just getting by and not achieving the best the charm in “Being” is lost.

It is not as bad as it sounds, but I feel I have been stuck. I have been stuck in always choosing what is easy. Is it easy to sleep in? Just do that! Is it easy to being late for a meeting – just be late. Is it easier to dial in instead of making in time, do that. Is it easy to eat crap during weekends – getting the drift?

The wish to be at the top of the game is there but the valor is missing, actions are missing – whatever game that could be

  1. Eating healthy
  2. Being on time
  3. Being able to plan things better

Somedays motivation creeps in, lingers and leaves tip toed as it walked in. I cannot keep up the motivation as the needed change to keep it around falls short.  What can keep it around you ask? – Consistency, discipline and dedication – that is the ONLY way to a better self. Yes, it is not easy, training the mind to not pick up the easy parts. It is Hard.  Nothing but hard work is needed.

Rome was not build in a day, but it was build slowly and steadily. Let us start with small things – let us just, because if not, the regret at the end of it will be bigger.