This was long due and I had to write it. I am not a very rational person, I am the emotional kinds. If anybody I even remotely know of is in any pain I feel sad and immediately pray for him. I don’t know if I am that genuine or I just do it. I am still trying to find an answer.
I have asked this question to myself a zillion times after I have moved to the US, are you happy and I get the same resonating reply NO.
My theory, after I start driving I’ll be happy, first step to my independence.
Frankly does not matter 😛
Second theory , start working I will be happy… Did not help.
What is that makes my heart ache every single day and wishes to be back? The life here is easy , it is so easy that some times I am amazed by it. You want to go to office , traffic is not such a big problem. If you need solace you find in your own house. Its so silent around. It is beautiful and clean. Its actually a picture perfect. Zero struggle during your day.
It a simple equation, get up, get ready , go to office , cook / don’t cook, come back sleep. No hicupps. Wait for weekend , plan the weekend and mourn on a monday.
No kidding I am summing up my life here.
There is nothing new that a day can bring in. The weather.com will tell u well in advance if it is going to be hot/cold/rain. Everything is planned.
You could call me naive but I don’t like it. I don’t like my life to be so easy going at this point of time. It feels as if I am retired. I want to get stuck in traffic and squeeze in through it. I want to get wet in rains. I want to actually marvel that I made it. I want to celebrate festivals. I want to eat mangoes. I want to eat panipuri and I want some options in my life. Friends who are here they are fabulous , they make it some what easier. But still I have that sinking feeling every sunday night .
I guess I have too much time to spare to think about these things. Then thinking about it again, no I have been born and brought up with so much chaos around and now suddenly there is that lull.
arggh…..
Hope to complete this post someday…….